Hating Grey is SO Passe!

So, Check out this picture of Jennifer Aniston. She has some definite grey coming in, and I'm pretty excited about it! She's been a hair icon for nearly two decades, and if she started to go grey, we'd have quite the statement on our hands.



I'll never forget a comment that one of my fellow stylists made to me when I was working in Santa Barbara.

"Have you ever noticed that men age better than women?"
"Mehh?" I asked, quite articulately.
"Yeah, you know, like them." She pointed to a couple passing in front of the salon. The "couple" was actually two of my clients. And the "couple" was actually mother and son. Denise looked at me blankly like she'd proven a point. Once I'd made mine, she suggested, "Okay, well then, what about Harrison Ford and Karen Allen?" The most recent Indiana Jones had just come out.

I pondered her example, and had to admit she had a good point. But then I realized, that in terms of a romance on film, you rarely see these older debonaire men with women their own age. An older Harrison Ford is always paired with someone his junior, and so we become accustomed to seeing older men next to younger women, hence making their ages seem closer, and making older women look much older.

The same can be said of grey hair, in terms of a double standard. If a man starts going grey, he is considered mature and even "dignified." When a woman goes grey, 'mature' becomes a hushed euphemism and decrying hair dye seems to indicate she has no self-respect. The value we place on youth, and the fact that this value is higher for women than for men, makes older men appear younger, simply because they haven't lost "youth value" as quickly as the women have.

Living in Santa Barbara, I began to see a refreshing shift in public opinion. The number of women who would come to me for cuts (but no color) was increasing. Practically speaking, the upkeep of dying their hair for 25+ years had really gotten to them, but there seemed to be an "existentially speaking--," aside in there, as well.

In New York City it's a different story. Career consciousness and age consciousness coexist in women's minds like competing alpha cats living in the same flat. The snarling is almost audible, and the main concern seems unanimous: if I go grey, I will be less desirable in my job. So I suggest this: imagine a world where every woman went grey, as soon as the first tell-tale strands came in. 10% of women in their early 30s would be 100% grey, and the number would increase to 30% for women in their early 40s. If we all went grey, might this misperception and fear finally subside?

We've come such a long way, that it's about time "aging gracefully" meant doing it without dye and scalpels. In 2000, Eve Ensler reclaimed the word 'cunt', and it has been wicked-powerful. Let's reclaim grey, too.

The Talk of the Salon: Michelle Obama

Thank you, Elizabeth, for bringing this article to my attention! This article in the Times, Why Michelle's Hair Matters, is EXACTLY why we need more discussion on the way we talk about beauty! What are the implications of not having natural hair? If Michelle went all natural, what might happen...?

Beauty and the Beast

I'm feeling inspired to share with you the sentiment that really started this blog. I realized that I likely haven't put my philosophy out there in straight-forward terms. (See "The Real Life of Buddah," for the allegorical version).

I am sick and tired of snarky celeb gossip about who has bad bangs, and whose weave is showing the tracks, or why Britney's color is as tragic as a life of childhood stardom. Of course these sites are funny, and often incredibly witty, but they're also just making our culture's embrace of natural beauty more of an uphill battle than it already is.

I want to have a blog, a discussion, and a celebration about how beautiful we all are, exactly as we are. I color my hair red and copper, because I think it's fun. For me, changing my natural hair is really more about creativity than it is self-rejection. For some, it might be the the latter.

But we are all beautiful, and the only thing beastly about us, is our insistence that we are anything other than fabulous! So this post is simply an ode to your beauty, a clarification of The Aesthetic Ascetic's angle, and a celebration of creativity. Whatever you do with your hair, do it because it makes you feel more like you!

And....a little How-To-ing for the Hair-Curious never hurt, of course :)

Thank you, friends for joinging my followers list (I appreciate your support as I figure out how the hell to do this blog thing), and check out this inspiring hair blog I found today: The Locked Hair Blog Exchange, about women of color who say "no" to chemical relaxer!

Open Thread: Let Me Answer Your Hair Queries

I was recently asked how to use bobby pins so that they
1) don't stretch out, and
2) hold your hair.

Luckily, the same bit of advice works on both counts. Bobby pins get stretched out when you try to clamp too much hair into them all at once. If you are pinning a chunk of hair that is twisted, try twisting tightly and sliding the pin ONLY in the hair that is on the outermost section of the twist. In other words, pin whatever bit of hair is holding the rest of the hair. That way, you're using a pin to stabilize hair, which is already stabilizing hair. Pin doesn't stretch out. Your hair doesn't go anywhere.

Another way to accomplish both things is by teasing and spraying the crap out of your hair, first. Teasing (backcombing/ratting) your hair creates a network in which bobby pins feel safe and links the hair together, like Velcro. If you tease and spray your hair, and then gently smooth the outer section with a boar bristle brush, you can slip a couple of bobby pins into the tuft of hair, and the hair itself will already be holding the mass together. This way, the bobby pin serves to hold the hair to your head, rather than holding the hair to itself.

Round Brush+ Flat Iron= VOLUMINOUS & SILKY!!